Snooki #4

Let’s Talk About Snooki

Halloween I was invited to the ‘Party Bus.’ My friend, Odin, and another girl run a party bus that has about 30 people allowed on it. A spot opened up and he asked me if I wanted to join the festivities. I, of course, said “yes!”

Since I had just moved in two days before and started work, I didn’t have time for an outstanding costume (last year I went as a banana split) I went as an Oktoberfest beer wench. It worked. I had definite boobage which I rarely do. I’m a conservative yet outrageous dresser at times, I’d say.

I walked into the Southern where I was meeting Nick, also a party bus attendee. Because I was so impressed with my rack when I got over to him I took my coat off and said, “Look at my boobs!” Which he swears that everyone in the entire bar heard me say. Doubtful. He’s a man, of course he’s going to think everyone heard that. You could whisper the word boobs around any guy and in his head it’d be like you screamed it in a tiny room with him standing right next to you, which I was, standing right next to him. Point proven, the woman bartender did NOT hear me say it. I had a Basil Hayden on the rocks (my favorite of late) while Nick finished his beer.

Let’s skip past the first 3 bars and jaunts on the party bus where I proceeded to have much beer, many shots including chocolate pudding everclear shots, and some beer liquor mix to the best story of the night. The story of Snooki  #4 (of Jersey Shore MTV).

Nick and I decided that for every two Snooki’s we saw we’d do a shot together. This was explained to a few of the other party bus members who quickly got on board. Sadly, it was a night of few Snooki’s, but we got pretty drunk anyway without the game.

The bus stopped at a gay club where I got up on the bar to dance. None of the gay men were going to look at me anyway so it was fine that I was up there. Though I did dance with a gay guy clad only in scanty tighty whities up there. It was awesome. So I’m dancing, I look down and one of the Hazmat party bus guys pointed behind me below. I looked down and there was Snooki #4! Time for a shot. I yelled out “SNOOOOOOKIIII!!!!” and pointed down at her in my drunken stupor. I pretty much yanked her up on the bar top to dance with me. After a few minutes she leaned over and up, for she was a tiny Snooki, and asked, “Are you bi?” Being that we were in a gay club, I guess it was an appropriate question. “No,” I replied. Then she pouted a little so I leaned down. “Why?” “Because my friends want me to make out with a girl.” I looked down at her friends, mmm, lesbians. Figures. So I said, “If you buy me a shot of whiskey, I will kiss you madly.” She agreed rapidly so I grabbed her by her Snooki hair, made out madly with her mouth, turned her around, slapped her ass, and practically pushed her off the bar top. I walked over to her friends and leaned down and said, “Just so you know, I’m dick chick” got up and started dancing again.

Hazmat guy was in shock and then laughing. I think I heard Odin yelling in the back, whatever, it’s just Halloween and I’m secure in my heteroness. It could have been a minute, or three, or ten, but I felt a tap on my leg. I looked down, there was Snooki holding a shot up to me. I took it - Jaeger! Not whiskey! Oh well. The night was over anyway! And goes on to say that no man actually made it clear he wanted to make out with me, though Odin assured me a few days later that at least four did. So much for men.

That concludes Snooki #4. Good times, Halloween 2010, good times.

Moral of the Story: More than one Snooki may make the evening more interesting!

-BB-