Phone Boob Rub

I decided to go to Danny’s Saturday night. My friend who brought me to Danny's and I have agreed that it is now called "Best. Bar. Ever." Seriously. The underground dj's are the best. Great drinks for low prices. Read the link.

I invited a girl I had met who was on a date with Nick. She was at a Christmas party and would come later. I decided to go up there by myself before they arrived though because I had nothing else to do. Strangely, there was a  plethora of dirty, dirty seriously old men at Danny’s that night. None of them bothered me…it was a younger guy.

There I am texting and this guy comes up, a foot shorter than me and grabs my phone from my hand. I say, “Give it back.” He doesn’t though. He proceeds to take my phone, my OWN phone, and starts rubbing it all over my chest and my stomach and back up to my chest. I’m appalled! Stunned!  

And yet, I wasn’t angry I was just so amazingly appalled I almost laughed. I mean, there I am, in Danny’s, by myself, and my own phone is being rubbed all over my boobs. Who else does something like this happen to?! He finally stops, I grab the phone, and say, “Walk away, Sir, walk away.” He does because I try to throw into my voice some anger but I really just wanted to laugh.

I text Kristin that I have to tell her about my phone boob rub at Danny’s. Oh, and you think that was it? No. About 5 minutes later he comes up to me again, tries to grab my phone and I jerk it back away in time and say to him, “If you don’t walk away right now, I’m going to throat punch you!” And then I made a little throat punching motion with my hand, like a shadow puppet duck, and said really loudly again so he could hear over the music,

“THROAT PUNCH! THROAT PUNCH!”

And his friend ran over and grabbed him. I was sad that I didn’t get to throat punch him. I was really like 10 seconds from doing it. Oh well. He came up one more time to apologize for his drunkenness. At that point I was annoyed so I just said, “Go away.” And I walked off.

Moral of the Story: If you get a chance to throat punch, only warn once, then just do it before the friend runs over to take the drunken fool away.